WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME: Bus Cellphone Etiquette

I'm sure we've all come across this at some point. I mean, talking on a headset or headphones rather than holding the cancerous cellphone directly to your head is always a good idea, but weird conversations like this are still always best to have in private! From GB:

Coming home from work one day, my boyfriend and I found ourselves sat on the front two seats, facing the line of fold-down sideways-facing seats, which were unoccupied. As we reached Osborne, a girl got on, sat on the sideways seat and said loudly "WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?", while staring in our direction, towards everyone else on the bus. It took us (and the whole bus) a while to realize that she was wearing a cellphone headpiece and was arguing with some poor soul on the other end. The silence that came after her demand, along with the strange stare down the bus and the fact that the cellphone cord was hidden by her hair, put everyone on edge!

So, listen up crazies:
1) Those headphone things are meant for when you can't use your hands - if you're sat on the bus, just hold your phone to your ear! At least then it's obvious you're not picking a fight with a stranger (or maybe your are, we don't know who's on the other end. Bottom line: if it's not aimed at us, we don't care)
2) If you're going to talk into seemingly mid-air, don't stare at other people while you do it, it's just WEIRD.

I've also seen courteous people hold the mouthpiece part of their phone closer to their mouth, so a) they can speak quietly, and b) give everyone else the signal that they're not just talking to themselves.

I'm on the Bus, fuck!

I always have a good chuckle when I hear people talking on the phone and their conversation consists of them repeating over and over again that they are on the bus, because most people realize it's not the ideal place to hold a conversation: it's loud and a tad inconsiderate the person sitting next to you.

One of my favourite moments of cellphone conversations, was a few years ago on the 11. There was a straight-laced WASPY business-man sitting on the side seat at the back, quietly talking on his cel, and then a few jovial aboriginal felows get on the bus, two sitting on the back seat and one beside him. He quietly puts away his phone, and immediately one of the dudes asks him if he can use it. He replies that "oh, maybe not." and the dude persists saying, "It's ok man, I just need to call a friend, I won't be long".

I think the businessman was a little scared of these guys, even though they seemed like they were harmless sweethearts, so he gives in and hands the dude his phone.

He calls his friend and the entire conversation is focused on how he is on the bus, which he repeats over and over again because the person he called will not believe that he could possibly be calling from the bus, "I'm on the bus! Yeah! I'm on the bus!". Finally after this goes on for about 5 minutes, he explains that they are on their way and he gives the businessman the phone back before a few more "Yeah! I'm ON THE BUS!"

A minute goes by and the cellphone begins to ring, the businessman reaches into his pocket and answers the phone, he asks the native fellow if his name is Gerald and says the phone is for him. Gerald gets back on the phone and continues the “I’m on the bus” conversation but the friend on the other end still won't believe him, "Yeah I just borrowed some white guys phone! - No, really! I'm on the bus!". He starts shouting, "I'm on the Bus, fuck!" over and over. Finally, he asks the businessman if he can convince his friend that he is indeed on the bus, to which he timidly agrees to, "Hello? Yes. Mmm-hmm, yes - he's on the bus."