Goths! On the Bus!

Here's a little film we made a couple of summers ago, and something no one has emailed me about yet: Goths on the bus!

Bedbugs! On the Bus!

This is the most terrifying story anyone has ever submitted. I'm tempted to never ride the bus again after reading this. Actually, I think I may never leave the house again for that matter, unless I'm in a hazmat suit. But seriously! If you, the busdriver, are told there are bedbugs on the bus, wouldn't you stop the bus and tell everyone to get off? No wonder these things are spreading like crazy!

This story comes from Rob, who was the unfortunate witness to the dreaded bedbug, on a freaking bus!

I was at Kildonan Place Mall one afternoon to pay a bill. When I was finished I took what I believe was the number 46 transit bus to downtown.

I was sitting in the very last seat at the back of the bus on the right hand side, beside the window. I then noticed a man get up from one of the seats up front and sit at a different seat in the middle of the bus. He then got up and moved his way to the back of the bus and chose the empty seat that sits parallel to the aisle, right in front of me. He was talking to a friend on his cell phone. He was telling his friend that he had just come from the doctors office and was on his way down to see his leasing company that owns the apartment building where he is renting. Apparently he woke that morning to find himself covered in a rash, then found and collected a total of 49 bedbugs in his bed. He was furious and upset.

I was horrified that this guy had chosen a seat right in front of me.

After his call he got up and went back to the front of the bus and sat where he was originally sitting.

I then looked at the seat where he was sitting and saw to my horror, 3 bedbugs. 2 smaller and one the size of an eraser on a pencil. They were trying to crawl around on the fabric of the seat. I then told the few passengers of this guys conversation and pointed at the seat.

Everyone was freaked and got up and either moved to the middle of the bus and rode standing or they got off at the next stop.

I went up and told the driver of the bus and asked if they ever fumigated. He laughed and said he had been driving 14 years and has never heard of bedbugs on a bus and said that as far as he knows, buses don't get fumigated.

Now I despise riding a bus, so when I do I stand. I am so worried about taking cabs, sitting in waiting rooms, going to restaurants.......Bedbugs!

This thought terrifies me.

The Sleeping Pillow-People

This story comes from H., and I can't say anything more without giving away the hilarious punchline:

I caught the 17 a few days ago, but just barely, he was gunning it down McDermot towards Main Street. A red light stopped him, and we managed to hop on. There were only two other people on board, both quite little and round, and fast asleep at the very front. As we headed to the back, the driver took the corner with such alacrity I lost my balance, and though I grabbed the pole I wound up swinging around helplessly right onto the two snoozing passengers. I couldn't right myself due to the driver's extreme speed and really squashed them, knocking off the lady's hat and nearly bringing us all to the ground. I finally called out, "Help! Help!", to my friend and he dashed back and pulled me off the heap. I turned around to apologize, and they hadn't woken in the slightest! The driver was not nearly as relaxed, apparently.

I'm on the Bus, fuck!

I always have a good chuckle when I hear people talking on the phone and their conversation consists of them repeating over and over again that they are on the bus, because most people realize it's not the ideal place to hold a conversation: it's loud and a tad inconsiderate the person sitting next to you.

One of my favourite moments of cellphone conversations, was a few years ago on the 11. There was a straight-laced WASPY business-man sitting on the side seat at the back, quietly talking on his cel, and then a few jovial aboriginal felows get on the bus, two sitting on the back seat and one beside him. He quietly puts away his phone, and immediately one of the dudes asks him if he can use it. He replies that "oh, maybe not." and the dude persists saying, "It's ok man, I just need to call a friend, I won't be long".

I think the businessman was a little scared of these guys, even though they seemed like they were harmless sweethearts, so he gives in and hands the dude his phone.

He calls his friend and the entire conversation is focused on how he is on the bus, which he repeats over and over again because the person he called will not believe that he could possibly be calling from the bus, "I'm on the bus! Yeah! I'm on the bus!". Finally after this goes on for about 5 minutes, he explains that they are on their way and he gives the businessman the phone back before a few more "Yeah! I'm ON THE BUS!"

A minute goes by and the cellphone begins to ring, the businessman reaches into his pocket and answers the phone, he asks the native fellow if his name is Gerald and says the phone is for him. Gerald gets back on the phone and continues the “I’m on the bus” conversation but the friend on the other end still won't believe him, "Yeah I just borrowed some white guys phone! - No, really! I'm on the bus!". He starts shouting, "I'm on the Bus, fuck!" over and over. Finally, he asks the businessman if he can convince his friend that he is indeed on the bus, to which he timidly agrees to, "Hello? Yes. Mmm-hmm, yes - he's on the bus."

Weakerthans - Civil Twilight (video)

Here's a video by Winnipeg's The Weakerthans that takes place entirely on a Winnipeg Transit bus. via @ Dailymotion.

The Crotch Grabber

Here's a similar story to Ayden's story about grabbing a guy's head to break her fall. This time Jennifer grabs a guy's crotch. I don't think there's anything to apologize for, I'm sure the guy didn't mind at all:

When I was about 8 months pregnant I was huge and clumsy. I was taking the bus home one day and attempted to get up to exit when the bus suddenly accelerated and sent me flying sideways. I put out my hand to try and find something to steady myself and ended up falling - hand first- into some guys crotch. He didn't even flinch and helped me right myself. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the man with the balls of steel for breaking my fall.

The Winnipeg Antonio Banderas

Here's a chance encounter with Winnipeg's Antonio Banderas, from Jennifer:

I was waiting for the 11 bus outside the concert hall one summer evening when one of the typical drunk downtowners staggered up to me. He stood there, gazing and swaying back and forth before leaning in, and saying in his best Mexican accent "Antonio Banderas" then staggered off without another word. Gooood times.

Bus Seat, Toilet Seat

Here's a gross story from Jennifer of the transit as a public restroom , c'mon people!

I was riding the 20 Watt after work one day, when I noticed a nasty smell coming from the old lady sitting in the seat in front of me. She was holding a large grimy stuffed rabbit so I assumed maybe the scent was from her plush toy. When she got up to get off the bus, I could see she had soiled herself while riding the bus. It was all over the back of her long coat and smelling pretty ripe. As she exited, a large and dirty looking guy gets on, and sits in the poopy, recently vacated seat. He also had quite the odor, but it was more like dirty smelly fat man. A few stops later he gets up to exit the bus, and not only was the ass of his filthy sweat pants wet from the seat, but he had a large hole there as well, right at the middle/bottom of his left ass cheek. The icing on this cake? He had neglected to wear underwear.

Maybe it would be wise for transit to replace some of the seats with toilet seats? They could use the methane gas to power the engine!

The Garbage Man

Here's an eerie and sad sighting by Ayden of the 14 Garbage Man:

One morning I was heading to school on the 14, and somewhere along Ellice this man got on the bus and sat 2 rows in front of me. He did not appear to care about his appearance at all, and looked like he hadn't had a shower in a few days. I didn't pay too much attention to him until I saw him lean forward and his ratty white T-shirt lifted up and I saw something on his back. It took me a minute or so to figure out what it was. The man leaned forward again, and sure enough, it was a plastic grocery bag, a receipt and some sort of chocolate bar wrapper stuck to his back.

Still to this day, I can't figure out how someone could get up and dressed without realizing you have a fricken bag and garbage stuck to your skin.

"Garbage Man" by Aaron Lopresti

The Fainting Head-Grabber

Here's a scary story from Ayden. Don't forget to eat breakfast folks, it's the most important meal of the day:

Well, years ago I hopped on the 75 and was heading to the U of M. That morning I didn't have time to eat any breakfast and I started feeling quite faint. And of course I was one of the ones who had to stand. All of a sudden I started sweating and my vision started to go, and because I was so shy back then I didn't ask anyone to help me. And before I knew it my vision went black and all I could do was try to hold on to the poles so I didn't fall. lol, but unfortunately because I couldn't see anything by this point I couldn't see where the poles were, but I knew there was one somewhere beside me so I started to reach out for it. Of course I missed and I was touching some guys head, I did this at least 2 more times, my fingers were literally touching this guys head and going through his hair. lol. I finally did find the pole and somehow managed not to fall and actually faint. All I can do is laugh about it now.

I can only imagine what this guy thought. Some chicks hands reaching out and touching his head not saying a thing. He probably thought I was crazy.....

The Sock-Tuque

One of my favourite moments of collective madness aboard the Winnipeg Transit was one time riding the 11: there was this guy sitting at the front wearing a tuque that looked like it was made out of two socks cut-in-half and sewn together, but the ends of the socks were left untouched leaving a kind of rabbit-eared look to this DIY tuque.

It was very strange and looked hilarious.

When he rang the bell and got off the bus, I swear about 90% of the people on the bus burst out laughing and then the remaining 10% shyly joined in.

One guy yelled out what we were all thinking, in case anyone missed it, "DID YOU SEE THAT GUY'S TUQUE? IT WAS TWO SOCKS SEWN TOGETHER!", which made everyone laugh even more.

The Baldy Apology

Here's another story from Kenton, the original post can be found via @ his blog:

It started here: my "unique and local - " but not "daily" - apology.

As I learned when I colored over my grade-two classmate's artwork with a crayon: "I'm sorry" are the hardest words to say.

I recently experienced the best apology of all time, and - even better - it happened on a Winnipeg Transit bus, where everything that's important in this city happens.

The more I tell this story, the more people seem to enjoy it, so let's give it another whirl here, shall we?

The infraction

After a hard day's work last semester - is there any other kind? - I got on a Winnipeg Transit bus, and, out of the blue, some guy started yelling at the back of my head.

I turned around, and there was a disturbed-looking guy in his mid-20s, who was pissed - I guess - because I got on the bus before him; I'm still unclear on the details.

So, I gave him my best give-me-a-break look and sat down at the back of the bus, where I watched him harangue everyone else on the bus for the duration of my journey.

"You: stop lookin' at me funny!" Etc, etc.

On my way out of the bus, I decided to give him some unsolicited advice: "If you were nicer to other people, maybe they'd be nicer to you."

The advice surprised him, and I made sure I got off the bus quickly before he had a chance to respond with an insult. So what if the bus was still going 60? Totally worth it.

I figured that was the end of it.

The apology

The next day, I got on the bus and - surprise! - there was the same guy sitting at the back.

I noticed too late, so I was already committed to sitting near him and couldn't turn back, lest I give him some more ammo to shout at the back of my head.

I sat down, opened up a book, and prayed he wouldn't talk to me. But of course, it was only a matter of time before I heard:

"Hey. Hey you."

I looked up at him and he continued:

"I just wanted to tell you that I was having a really bad day yesterday. And I'm very, very sorry I yelled at you and insulted you. Baldy."