Captain Morgan of the Winnipeg Transit

Love this, from Laura:

One day last summer I was bussing down portage on my way to work. The bus was kind of crowded, and there were only a few seats left at the back of the bus. This guy got on, sat down across from me and started trying to talk to a couple people including myself. We ignored him because he was drunk and fishing for someone to start a fight with. When he realized he wasn't getting anywhere reached into his back back and pulled out a 66 of captains and just started drinking. I got off the bus shortly after and just walked to work from there.

"There's a baby in there!"

Heather writes:

 I am probably one of the few who will openly say that I encourage babies stay in strollers on the bus. It's the safest place for a baby since it is a moving vehicle that stops (often abruptly) frequently while passengers are jerked around unrestrained.

Anyways, me and my 10-year-old daughter got on the 19, after her doctors appointment. We were having a pleasant day, despite the bus being packed. There was a stroller to our right and people standing, squished to our left and front. Of course, more people were let on and they were pushing me into the stroller. I was trying to be respectful and mind the child. The mother, who seemed to be either an addict of some sort or a recovering addict, snapped loudly "THERE'S A BABY IN THERE." I turned and saw that, indeed, she was screaming at me. I don't know what her issue was with me. I have never seen her before.

But shortly later, when the bus emptied of passengers enough for us to sit down, another young mom holding a toddler came on and the snipe-y mom was talking to this teen mom all fine and dandy.

I got off the bus relieved I didn't have to risk another run in with that crazy mom. Or so I thought. My and my daughter made it across Portage waiting to cross Vaughan. I hear "MOVE IT, FUCK". I looked behind me and the nasty mom was walking up to The Bay doors, well away enough from us that we could not possible be in her way. She was giving us the most awful look. It put stain on our lovely day.

Ya Broke Whore

Here's a great story from Monica about an altercation between three random people on the bus yesterday morning:

It’s Tuesday, 10:30am. I am on the 18 heading downtown.

I’m sitting in the back left corner and “Shelly” is in the back right. Shelly is probably in her early 40s, casually put together but unpolished, maybe had a slightly rough life. She has been on her phone and was talking slightly louder than she should have. She gets off saying even louder, “Disperse, disperse!” Kinda odd, but nothing too crazy for the 18.

Then a bunch of people get on at River and Osborne.

“Brenda”, a seemingly lower class late 30-something makes her way to the back and sits in the middle of the long back seat and “Doug”, a late 20s middle class wannabe gangsta, sits on the back sideways bench in front of me on the left side.

Doug is wearing shiny white sneakers, baggy jeans, over the ear headphones and a shirt with the likeness of Marilyn Monroe wearing a kerchief over her face, clad in a bikini and covered in gang tattoos.



As soon as Brenda sees this shirt she says with contempt, “Is that what happens 50 years later, you gotta be sold like a slut?” Doug chuckles.

Wait 15 seconds…she starts in again. "Fuck man, celebrities get no respect for all the shit they did and now this. Bing treated like sluts." Something, something "$10 blow jobs." And with this sentence she looks at Shelly trying to get a “comrade” to agree with her.

Shelly, obviously not impressed says, "What the fuck are you talking about. I don’t know about $10 blow jobs! Is that the going rate for blow jobs?"

Brenda, a little taken aback because she probably thought Shelly would agree with her replies "I don’t know, I’m just saying that they treat women like shit and it only costs them $10."

Shelly – "Why you fucking talking to me about $10 blow jobs. I don’t know how much whores charge for blow jobs. Is that how much you charge? Are you a fucking broke whore, ya broke whore?"

Brenda – "Fuck you I don’t know what blow jobs cost..."

Shelly – "Well you brought it up. Broke whore! Broke whore!"

We are now on Graham. Brenda gets up to leave, Doug, all riled up and wanting to join in to the trouble he caused says something like, "stop bitching about everything." Brenda retorts, giving him some body language, "you know what a bitch is. A fucking bitch is..." Well, in all honesty I don’t know what she said because all I could hear was Shelly yelling at the top her lungs, "Broke whore! Broke whore! Broke whore!" until Brenda was off the bus. Actually she kept yelling it out the window until we pulled away from the bus stop.

Doug and I look at each other and I say, "I don’t think you should wear that shirt again."

What Makes You Better Than Me???

I was minding my own business, waiting for my bus to arrive, when I noticed this drunk woman in a dirty sweatsuit nearly fall into the bus shack. Upon her grand entrance, she zeroes in on this rocker-looking dude and his girlfriend and randomly starts screaming at him. People started emptying out of the bus shack very quickly as she made her way over to him. Then the drunk woman starts pushing and throwing punches at this guy and he dishes it right back. She flies against the glass and he quickly reaches for the door to get the hell out, but she pushes it against him from the other side, so he then proceeds to smash her with the door until she is stunned.

The guy and girl leave the bus shack and everyone else is keeping a safe distance. The drunk woman emerges and they exchange a few punches and swears until finally he pushes her and she lands on the ground. Then she just begins to taunt him, continuously yelling "WHAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN ME?" over and over again. They start waking away, telling her to leave them alone and she follows down the block, yelling this over and over again.

"WHAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN ME?"

"WHAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN ME?"

Then she just stood on the street corner and screamed this into the sky.

Caught on Tape Madness

I just took a quick look on youtube to see if anyone had uploaded any interesting videos related to our favourite transit system, and lo and behold! I haven't checked in a while, so it was quite surprising to find these. Here are 3 WTF Winnipeg Transit moments, caught on tape.

Here is some guy getting randomly beat up by a guy who looks like he just wandered out of a cave:


Not sure what the story is here, but here's a video of a guy getting arrested on the bus:


And finally, here's some awkward video of a girl serenading the 11 Portage passengers in song:

The Female "Frank Booth"

After reading this story from Ashley, I immediately thought of Frank Booth from the film Blue Velvet. But it's about a girl. A teenage girl. Holy hell. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, please see the video embedded after the story:

And just when I think I’ve seen it all.

We’ve all seen the same people on the bus. The rowdy kids sticking their arms out the windows, the ones with the strollers forcing elderly people out of their seats so they can squeeze in, the ones who roll hand-made cigarettes, the drunks who try and sneak a sip of Lucky when they think no one is looking. But has anyone ever seen someone doing drugs? I have, and she’s not pretty.

Let me just describe the situation. It’s about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and the 18 Jefferson is beyond full. I’m pretty sure the bus driver is turning people away because the bus was as packed as a mosh pit at a rock concert. I am in front of the back door, pressed up against people I don’t know and facing others I’d wished I wasn’t facing.

Then, this girl gets on. And this girl was crazy.

First, I hear her, from where I am, telling the driver “my friend has my transfer. She’s at the back of the bus.” Of course he lets her on - her friend has her transfer.

Then, she starts yelling at other passengers, “excuse me!” Now, I say yelling, because I shouldn’t be able to hear her from where I am. Then she tells her friend, “Hold onto me. I’m saying excuse me. If they don’t move, they’re rude.” No, they’re not rude, there just isn’t any room for people to move to. So, naturally, she starts pushing her way to where I am. She squeezes in with her friend in front of the back door and is now about an arms length away from me.

“I just bought so many pills! Yeah, look!” *Opens her purse and shakes around multiple pill bottles*

Uh. ‘Kay.

After screaming “whore” at a girl who got off the bus, the girl reaches into her purse and pulls out a small piece of paper and I now smell marijuana. I turn and look at her and as I turn back, I hear her tell her friends, “hold me up” and “cover me.” I can see her moving around some powder on what looked like a gum wrapper. Then she says, “It’s like people have never seen drugs before.” No, I’m sure they have, just not in the hands of a 16-year-old while riding public Transit during rush hour. But, that’s just a guess.

I’ll state here that I’ve never done drugs and know little, to nothing, about them.

I move back up onto the first stair and pretend to text on my phone when she and her two friends sit down in the three seats facing the back door but there were only two open seats so one girl sat on another girls lap. Little Miss Junkie then asked the elderly man beside her to move over. To where, the floor? He wasn’t taking up any more room than he was allowed. He looked at her and looked away without moving an inch. She turns back to her friends, “I asked him to move and he just looked at me.” Uh, DUH.

She starts pointing at someone and at first I think it’s me, and saying “What the f**k are you looking at? Don’t f**king look at me. Next time you look at me I’ll kick you a*s.” Then, thankfully, I figure out she isn’t talking about me and I make my way to the first open seat. I sit down and continue to look out the window and stare around the bus. But when I glance down at her for a second, I see her snorting whatever was in the gum wrapper and then stare blankly ahead.

She just snorted coke, on the bus, during rush hour.

Why do I assume it was coke? Because there was a nice white line of a chalky-looking substance smeared across her cheek, and I doubt she was snorting Rockets.

Negative Energy

Here's another odd bus story from Weirdos of Winnipeg:

An older man and a younger woman are sitting side-by-side on the bus. He's happily reading his Uptown magazine. They sit silently for several blocks. Then, out of nowhere:

She: You need to get your negative energy away from me.

He: Huh?

She: I saw the way you were looking at me at the bus stop. What right do you have to then come and sit beside me?

He: *confused*

She: And now you're giving me the same look. Your negative energy is ruining my day. You need to find a different place to sit.

He: [looks around. There is clearly no other place to sit] I'm ... just reading my paper.

She: And now you're looking at me like I'm crazy! Take your negative energy away from me. [rants for quite awhile about his negative energy]

He: Oh, just shut up already!

She: What right do you have to tell a stranger to shut up? You need to find a different place to sit. Next time there's a seat you need to find a different place to sit.

He: [reaches past her and dings the bell. Angrily.]

AC/DC idiots singing on the bus

At first I was thinking, "god, what jerks!", that old guy looks really annoyed. But it's a chartered bus! I guess the old guy was an AC/DC fan after all.

Great Pizza at a Great Price!

Here's a story from Brodie that could easily be a viral marketing campaign for Pizza Hotline, please make this ad "bunch of 2s"!

So anyone who rides the bus has seen the ads that are inside. One of the ads is for Pizza Hotline. Last week on the #18 a rather inebriated young man took a sheen to the Pizza Hotline ad, stood on his chair and proceeded to caress the pizza in the ad and than started singing the jingle (222 22 22 GREAT PIZZA AT A GREAT PRICE). He then started licking the ad and the bus driver kicked him in the Village where he wandered away into the night.

That reminds me of when I caught the downtown flyer to go to the forks last summer, and the bus was a special Hepatitis bus or something that was painted yellow, with only those "pee in a cup" ads up and down the aisle. The funny thing was, the whole bus also stunk like urine.

Smells like French Fries

Here's poor Katie's experience on the 47:

when I was 16 I had finally gotten my first job. It was in a Fast food restaurant that was 10 minutes away. I would ride the 47 to and from every shift. One evening I got on after a particularly long night and had noticed there was one incredibly drunk homeless looking man at the front of the bus switching seats quite quickly and frequently. He had been making poor attempts at non-creepy conversation with other riders but failed miserably.

As we got deeper into Transcona and about 5 stops away from home the man ended up behind me. He finally went silent for a minute until I felt and heard a large sniff by my left ear and then a loud whisper of "MMMM YOU SMELL LIKE FRENCH FRIIIIES!!" being 16 and alone I was instantly mortified and opted to get off a stop early to get away.

To this day I make sure to never get on a bus smelling like anything besides soap.

Image via @ Conasse

Trapped under the seats!

Here's a very sad short story from a Retired Bus Driver, poor lady!

I was the driver of the #16 on a summer afternoon, and a drunk woman fell asleep on my bus. As I went along my route, she slowly slid under the seat and was stuck and could not get out. I had to call am ambulance to free her from between the seats, much to the amusement of other passengers!

New Year's Poop

Here is a very descriptive story from Jenny about a bunch of guys fawning over poop on the bus:

On New Year's Eve in 2008, I caught the 11 heading downtown. I grabbed a seat near the middle of the bus, closest to the doors. Behind me, I could hear a bunch of young guys commenting on their friend's disgusting, yet impressive, accomplishment of taking a shit directly on one of the bus seats only moments before. Their conversation was full of comments like, "That's totally sick, man," and, "I can't believe you just did that." However, they must have been rather proud of this feat, since they remained sitting in close proximity to the crap, as if it were one of the guys who was joining them on their New Year's adventure.

This was taking place only two seats away from me. I was terrified, although tempted, to turn around and look at the spectacle unfolding. Since the odor had graciously not yet wafted in my direction, I decided not to turn around for a peek. The description of the turd and the nervous repulsion of the passengers nearby was enough to paint a pretty detailed picture in my head. Now it's in yours.

The Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum of Hockey fans

Here's another story from Sam, with people again accosting her because of her beautiful hair!

I'll tell one last one then save some more for another day... It was game 3 in the playoffs and i was watching the score on my phone when these two guys (completely drunk) come sit near the back facing me. (I was sitting on the row of chairs facing the back door) They're talking about the game and wondering what the score is so politely i told them that I had the score and would let them know if anything changed. They were so excited and happy but then they got creepy. haha

One was telling the other "don't say anything to scare her away! we need her" while the other one kept saying "you have really nice hair, it looks so soft... can i touch it?". I definitely refused so his friend got upset and started getting mad at his buddy thinking I was going to leave with the score. So I listened to these guys argue and the one ask if he can take me home and PULL my hair. no thanks!

It's a Stone Cold morning

Here's a very Winnipeg story from Jason:

Riding the 11 from EK to downtown the other morning at around 6:45am and a blue-collar type guy gets on the bus at Henderson and Johnson and sits in the front seats.

He then proceeds to get a full 2L bottle of Stone Cold Lager out of his bag and starts drinking it. After a few minutes he realizes what he was doing and subtly removes the label (in a pitiful attempt to mask what he was drinking) and continued to openly chug his beer on the bus.

Probably drank over a liter of beer before even getting to Portage and Main.

"The guy behind me will pay"

Here's a cute story from a Retired Bus Driver:

Back in the 1980's, at Higgins & Main when the hotels were in business, the last bus pulled up to the corner and there were about 15 people at the bus stop. The first guy got on and said that his buddy behind him will pay, and the entire group piled on with cases of beer in hand, and the last guy got on and says he has no money!

He Broke His Balls

Here's a bit of an insane story from Marcie:

It was a miserable February evening: frigid, windy, dark, and on the bus. I had been working at the University all day, and my brain was angry like a cat who's stomach just got touched (wide eyed, looks innocent enough, but her claws haven't been trimmed for weeks).

I sat at the front of the bus, ready to give up my seat for priority riders, when a heavily intoxicated man got on at York street. He was weaving around, trying to get his change out of his pocket, stalling the inevitable "I don't have enough change. I just need to get to Osborne" line. The bus driver stepped on the gas, and the drunk guy grabbed onto a pole and swung around, nearly hitting the sloshy, sloppy, gravel filled aisle, shouting "Hey bus driver! You nearly broke my balls!"

The ever articulate, and sauced up gentleman decided the spot beside me was the best seat for him to occupy. My claws came out, and were looking for the most expensive leather couch around to tear apart. He shouted, again, at the driver "You almost broke my balls!" I, eyes wide, tail poofed out, hair on the back of my neck like pins, shouted back "No one gives a fuck about your balls! Stop talking about your balls! Or I really will break them." Every single rider laughed. I just noticed my elevated heart rate, my overheated self in snow pants and scarf, and that I couldn't get the image of cracked walnuts out of my mind.

He stopped shouting. And, at my stop, I told the driver that "the guy sitting next to me is a total douche and making people uncomfortable." Justice was swift, and the driver kicked him off the bus.

Walking away from the stop, the deathly cold evening air helped perpetuate an eternal echo of the man at the bus stop shouting "He broke my balls, man!"

Heavy Metal Transit Bus

Here's an old story from Shan about her run-in with a bus of angry metalheads:

Around twenty five years ago I was on the evening shift and rode the bus from downtown to the western outskirts of town every night. Thus it was that I was on the same bus that numerous Judas Priest fans decided to take after a concert at the old arena. Too many Judas Priest fans, in fact.

I don't know anything about the band but I know I don't like them after my bus ride with their fans. I was on the Ness before them and had a window seat from which I witnessed the destruction that took place. Crammed in like sardines from the front to the back of the bus, the restless and excited fans began chanting "JUDAS PRIEST, JUDAS PRIEST!" before we had gotten very far away from Polo Park. This soon escalated to simultaneously rocking from side to side causing the bus to sway alarmingly and after that tearing apart whatever parts of the bus they could remove.

After one of the seats was dismantled and thrown out the window, the bus driver put in a call to the police. We were by this time on Ness Avenue beside the huge field which leads to the airport. "Oh great" I thought, "great place to be stranded with a bunch of lunatics." The bus driver stopped the bus to wait for the police and the fans disembarked, wandering off into the night. When the police did arrive after about 15 minutes all they found were five or six ordinary shift working travelers on the brilliantly illuminated bus in a sea of darkness. Hunched in our seats we were, shell-shocked and anxious to get home.

I think this is quite appropriate to this story - Leslie Supnet's The Animated Heavy Metal Parking Lot:

Hail to the Bus Driver!

Here's a short story from Sheri:

I was on the 47 bus at 7:30 in the morning on New Year's eve going to work, when a man who had started celebrating early got on and sat in the back. He then started singing "hail to the busdriver" very loudly and off key before falling asleep.

The Drunk Busdriver

Years ago, I was taking the 10 Wolseley downtown to my friend's house who lived on Kennedy near York. Everyone else got off the bus at Osborne, so it was just me and the busdriver. For those who have caught the 10 downtown, you will know that the bus will sometimes sit at the stop by the Legislature for a few minutes to catch up to the schedule or take a break. So there I am, sitting alone on the bus...

20 minutes go by and the whole time I'm thinking, "Geez, I should have just walked! It's only two stops away", but then I'd think that any second now he's going to pull away so I might as well stay on the bus. But then another 10 minutes went by, I had it and got off.

I walked along the bus route to my friend's place and sure enough, I'm not a block away and the bus passes me! But what makes this story interesting is when I turned the corner on to York I was shocked to see that the bus had missed the turn onto Vaughn and crashed into an office building! I ran to see if the bus driver was ok and when I got to the window, he was in a daze. He then grabbed a big bottle of whiskey, whipped his head back and started chugging the whole bottle of booze!

This was before I had a cellphone, so I didn't call it in but I figured this busdriver would be in enough shit already when they find him drunk behind the wheel, crashed into a building.

And for the record, this guy was not fired - I saw him a month later driving the 10 and the same thing happened that he was just sitting at a stop and not moving. This time he stunk like rotten fish. When I got off the bus after I had enough of waiting for him to move, I walked to the front to see what he was doing and he was taping pictures of random people and kids to the window beside him.

I'm on the Bus, fuck!

I always have a good chuckle when I hear people talking on the phone and their conversation consists of them repeating over and over again that they are on the bus, because most people realize it's not the ideal place to hold a conversation: it's loud and a tad inconsiderate the person sitting next to you.

One of my favourite moments of cellphone conversations, was a few years ago on the 11. There was a straight-laced WASPY business-man sitting on the side seat at the back, quietly talking on his cel, and then a few jovial aboriginal felows get on the bus, two sitting on the back seat and one beside him. He quietly puts away his phone, and immediately one of the dudes asks him if he can use it. He replies that "oh, maybe not." and the dude persists saying, "It's ok man, I just need to call a friend, I won't be long".

I think the businessman was a little scared of these guys, even though they seemed like they were harmless sweethearts, so he gives in and hands the dude his phone.

He calls his friend and the entire conversation is focused on how he is on the bus, which he repeats over and over again because the person he called will not believe that he could possibly be calling from the bus, "I'm on the bus! Yeah! I'm on the bus!". Finally after this goes on for about 5 minutes, he explains that they are on their way and he gives the businessman the phone back before a few more "Yeah! I'm ON THE BUS!"

A minute goes by and the cellphone begins to ring, the businessman reaches into his pocket and answers the phone, he asks the native fellow if his name is Gerald and says the phone is for him. Gerald gets back on the phone and continues the “I’m on the bus” conversation but the friend on the other end still won't believe him, "Yeah I just borrowed some white guys phone! - No, really! I'm on the bus!". He starts shouting, "I'm on the Bus, fuck!" over and over. Finally, he asks the businessman if he can convince his friend that he is indeed on the bus, to which he timidly agrees to, "Hello? Yes. Mmm-hmm, yes - he's on the bus."