Sunday, February 27, 2011

Wolverine rides the transit

Last summer, I was sitting on the side seat by the back door of the bus. Then none other than Wolverine got on and sat beside me. I swear, this guy had the look down perfectly: the up-combed wolverine double ducktail hair-do, pork-chop sideburns, white muscle-shirt, jeans and skull belt-buckle. He even kept grunting like an animal the entire time he sat there.

I was too scared to just ask if I could take his photo, so I pretended to be fiddling with my phone and grabbed this. I think the dude's face in the background says it all though:


Here's a the "real" Wolverine for comparison:


I hope to one day get a better photo of this dude! Next time, I'll ask if I can take my photo with him.

Friday, February 25, 2011

The Pedo-stalker Confrontation

Last week, on the 11 Portage, this gansta-ish couple got on and sat behind me and started loudly arguing about lighters. Apparently the guy's lighter was out of fluid and he didn't know how he was going to light his cigarettes. She told him to go to a corner store and they would refill it for him, to which he replied "Went to store, no find." She said, "Well you gotta ask them fuck, it's explosive! Kids can steal that shit!"

Then, just as I was enjoying this verbal exchange - at the back of the bus some hippie-looking chick starting SCREAMING at this older balding asian dude about following her around and being a child molester. Just random stuff like how she got her period when she was 13, how him and all the cops that are following her are pedophiles - he just kept repeating over and over that she needed a mental assessment. I turned around and saw she was also videotaping the guy as she accused him of being a stalker child molester.

I managed to get an audio recording of the ending of the conversation when he "admits" to whatever wackness she's going on about, just as he gets off the bus:



After he got off, the girl behind me said "Man, that chick is fucking crazy!" and the guy replied, "Yeah but he did look like a pedo". Then the hippie-girl went and apologized to the bus driver for the screaming, but assured him that it was all worth it because she got his confession.

What I would give to see this video. Please anonymous crazy woman, post this on Youtube!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Homicidal Texter

A couple of months ago I was standing at the back of the 60 Pembina. There were two girls who were conversing about some intelligent topics like biology and physics, but speaking in very valley-girl-ish voices. Quite annoying, but strangely intriguing.

I looked down and there was a girl texting someone. I didn't mean to look, but I saw the word 'fucking' a few times and couldn't look away, "Remember I told you about those two fucking annoying girls on the bus that wouldn't stop talking?! Well they're on the bus again and they're fucking driving me crazy!!! I'm going to pull out a gun and start fucking shooting people!" 

Then she calmly put her phone back in her bag.

Brick of Cheese for Breakfast




There was a guy on the 60 this morning eating an entire brick of cheese. He was at least 1/3 of the way through it when I got off and wasn't slowing down.