Halloween Bus

Here's a cute story from Holly about a Halloween themed transit bus:

I seemed to be one of the few adults in costume for Halloween. Imagine my surprise after work when I got on board the 137 St. Norbert to find the awesome bus driver not only dressed up, but had decorated the bus with spooky decor and had treats for the kids!

She squealed, "Oh my god! Another person dressed up!" The driver and I were the only ones in costume. She asked if she could get a picture which was great because I also brought a camera. I told her that I didn't see too many adults dressed up this year so I thought I had the wrong date. She told me that she made special arrangements with Transit so she could have the same bus the whole day: ("I don't want to decorate 2 buses." *lol*). There were a few other drivers, maybe 3 others, who had also dressed up, one was Smurfette, so I hope people got pics. We chatted a bit more and I said I had wished more people dressed up or decorated and she said that it's important; that people need something positive like that.

As I was getting off the bus, she said, "See ya later, roadkill!" while I wished her a Happy Halloween in my ghoulish voice. Coolest bus driver ever!

Trapped under the seats!

Here's a very sad short story from a Retired Bus Driver, poor lady!

I was the driver of the #16 on a summer afternoon, and a drunk woman fell asleep on my bus. As I went along my route, she slowly slid under the seat and was stuck and could not get out. I had to call am ambulance to free her from between the seats, much to the amusement of other passengers!

He Broke His Balls

Here's a bit of an insane story from Marcie:

It was a miserable February evening: frigid, windy, dark, and on the bus. I had been working at the University all day, and my brain was angry like a cat who's stomach just got touched (wide eyed, looks innocent enough, but her claws haven't been trimmed for weeks).

I sat at the front of the bus, ready to give up my seat for priority riders, when a heavily intoxicated man got on at York street. He was weaving around, trying to get his change out of his pocket, stalling the inevitable "I don't have enough change. I just need to get to Osborne" line. The bus driver stepped on the gas, and the drunk guy grabbed onto a pole and swung around, nearly hitting the sloshy, sloppy, gravel filled aisle, shouting "Hey bus driver! You nearly broke my balls!"

The ever articulate, and sauced up gentleman decided the spot beside me was the best seat for him to occupy. My claws came out, and were looking for the most expensive leather couch around to tear apart. He shouted, again, at the driver "You almost broke my balls!" I, eyes wide, tail poofed out, hair on the back of my neck like pins, shouted back "No one gives a fuck about your balls! Stop talking about your balls! Or I really will break them." Every single rider laughed. I just noticed my elevated heart rate, my overheated self in snow pants and scarf, and that I couldn't get the image of cracked walnuts out of my mind.

He stopped shouting. And, at my stop, I told the driver that "the guy sitting next to me is a total douche and making people uncomfortable." Justice was swift, and the driver kicked him off the bus.

Walking away from the stop, the deathly cold evening air helped perpetuate an eternal echo of the man at the bus stop shouting "He broke my balls, man!"

The Sociologist Sociopath

This comes from reader, Samantha and happened last summer:

I was on the 14 going down St. Mary's to Main Street on my way to work. It was about 2 o'clock in the afternoon. There was a group of children on the bus (ages 7-12ish I'd say) and 2 leaders (I'd say 16ish). I assumed they were some sort of young day camp.

So at about Marion, this flamboyant looking middle aged man, who reeked of alcohol, gets on the bus and goes straight to the back where I, and this group of kids, were sitting and starts talking to them. He was clearly intoxicated, so the kids and leaders were just grinning and bearing the situation..trying not to make it any worse.

Then he moves closer and starts hitting on the female leader, saying she was beautiful and asking her if he could kiss her. This girl's face went from awkward smile to sheer terror. I felt bad for the girl, so I got up and told the bus driver exactly what was happening and she screamed at the man the get the hell off the bus.

The intoxicated man did not go quietly, but screaming that he did nothing wrong and that he was a sociologist...I think he meant sociopath.

Remember folks..this is 2 in the afternoon, not even on a weekend.

The little old blind lady and the OGRE

One of the craziest things that I have witnessed on the bus was one night coming home from downtown on the 11 with my wife.

There was a very tiny little old blind lady (the size of Yoda) sitting in the priority seat at the front. Then this giant Ogre of a man gets on the bus, seriously this guy was like 7.5 feet tall and so drunk out of his mind that he seemed to have reverted to caveman speech. As the tower of a man sways back and forth down the aisle, he takes notice of the little blind baba and crashes down beside her. Keep in mind this was quite late at night, the bus was about 1/8 full and he really could have sat anywhere he wanted.

At first, he just was just minding his own business, but then it was like he realized the little old lady again and leaned over to her and started loudly whispering the most disgusting things to her like, "Ooooh, I bet you have a wet pussy, don't you?", which was probably the least offensive thing he said to her in the parade of disgusting chatter that followed.

Everyone on the bus was aware of what was going on and I find this is very representative of what it's like riding the bus: there can be something awful happening and no one does anything. Especially, when the culprit is a giant, drunken cave troll, people seem to be unable to do anything. Half frozen in fear and half just wanting to remain invisible to the other passengers.

So anyways, this disgusting verbal puke keeps emitting from the cave monster and the old woman begins looking around and whispering, "Help... help me...". The bus driver catches on to what is happening, gets up and threatens the ogre with his transfer puncher, as if he's holding a gun, and says, "GET OFF NOW!", to which the ogre quietly complies.

Once he gets off the bus, we're stopped at a red light. It seems the ogre then realizes, "Wait! Me ogre and me want to eat old lady bones", and (I'm not exaggerating here in the least) he begins pounding the bus with his fists, nearly smashing the windows and then grabs the top of the bus and starts shaking it back and forth while screaming like an animal, which made everyone on the bus begin to scream. He even started to try to rip open the door, but then the bus just sped away, leaving the giant, screaming neanderthal behind.